she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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