I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
not ubering you a puppy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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