So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Randomize