he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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