What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize