New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize