I'm going to jail i love you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize