Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
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i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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