I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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