You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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