I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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