I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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