apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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