Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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