Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize