i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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