Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize