Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize