we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
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Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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