Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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