escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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