He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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