he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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