You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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