I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
as a side note pls kill me
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