Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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