i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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