i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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