Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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