I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize