If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize