Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize