Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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