so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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