i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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