walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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