That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize