There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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