SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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