is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
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Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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