Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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