what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize