11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
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his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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