I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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