you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize