in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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