He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize