you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize