My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize