To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize